Funny Signs in Japan

Okay, it’s time for the requisite “funny signs” post. It seems like every traveler to Asia finds a few funny translated signs, and I’m no exception. I would like to state, for the record, that I thought the English in Japan was excellent. By and large the signs were grammatically correct, and if they weren’t, you could still decipher the intent. The people were so friendly and helpful, language never seemed to be a barrier. Nevertheless, let it not be said that I don’t enjoy a good “lost in translation” moment, so here’s a few of the funnies.

I don't know what a mad pancake looks like, but if I was drenched in that yellow stuff I would be pretty pissed off too!

 

This was probably the most interesting sign to try and translate. I think it means "don't feed the pigeons or they'll shit on your laundry"

 

I want a happi-coat.

 

Guts for Japan! Enough said.

 

"Do not enter by the bicycle". That sounds like something Yoda would say!

 

Hungry? And oddly specific.

 

Sometimes I struggle to spell that word also.

 

Not funny per se, but blatantly stolen from the famous FedEx logo. (See the negative space? That's a custom designed font)

 

This reads more like poetry to me than some sort of security/safety warning. In fact, I think all public service announcements should be done in haiku.

 

 

So true. And so confusing.

 

 

This is the door to an eyelash salon. Yes, that's right. An entire salon dedicated to shaping your eye lashes. These are examples of all the different kinds of curls you can get!

 

I stared at this advertisement for a good 15 minutes trying to figure out what was wrong with that poor woman. And then I realized that a monster ate the middle bits of her pinky fingers!! Worst. Photoshop. Ever. (Unless of course the woman is unfortunate to have some sort of disfigurement on both hands, in which case I'm an ass for making fun of her.)

 

This one is just for fans of The Wire. Note the tag line at the bottom.

 

Ah yes, the piece de resistance. Note the sign, that even without English, very clearly relates the message "don't lean over the fence to take pictures" ....

 

... and then note my very handsome husband, leaning over the fence to take pictures. The juxtaposition just kills me.

Glasgow University

This picture is from Wikipedia. We didn’t wait to see it lit up at night, but now I kind of wish we had!

It took us a while to find to the Uni, as the locals call it, which was surprising since it sits on a giant hill and overlooks the city. But when we finally found it, it was stunning.

The main building  of the University of Glasgow is neogothic in style, with lots of spires and pointy arches. The stone is remarkable clean, especially compared to many of the other buildings in Glasgow. On the front side, half of the building was covered in scaffolding for repairs, and they were working on the roof. It’s an original slate roof, and we saw workers hacking new slate tiles into squares for the repair work! Talk about a skill-set that’s not in high demand!

You might think there is a princess in the top of that tower, but you would be wrong. It's the department of geography.

Glasgow University was founded in 1451, making it the fourth oldest university in the English-speaking world. That’s pretty old! It is currently ranked in the Top 100 schools in the world, and in the Top 10 schools in the UK. I don’t think they use the term “Ivy Leavue” here, but if they did, I’m pretty sure this school would quality.

The lovely green grass was being mowed while we were there, but otherwise this internal square or quad was a lovely space.

Glasgow was originally founded by a papal bull issued by Pope Nicholas V. Unfortunately the actual piece of paper with the papal bull written on it has disappeared. In 1560 (during the Scottish Reformation) the archbishop fled to France, taking the bull and mace of the university with him. The mace was eventually returned, but the bull was not. In 1690 a sighting was reported at the Scots College in Paris, but that’s the last time anyone saw it. Most scholars think the bull was lost during the French Revolution. Trust the French to lose something important like that!

I love this space! Multiple vaults, pillars, and ribs in this croft (?) allows you to move from one grassy quad to another. I think the chapel was directly overhead, but it was locked and we couldn't get inside.

Without the actual bull, which is the document that legally gives the University the right to award degrees, I wonder whether any of it is actually legal. But then again, I’ve lost both my high school and college diplomas, so Alex thinks that I never really graduated, so maybe I shouldn’t say anything!

My only complaint is the parking! It was hard to snap a good picture without getting the roof of someone's car in it!

The University is quite large, by any standard, with 20,000 undergraduate students and 5,000 graduate students. There is also a very high percentage of local and UK students, with only 16% coming from international locations. The weather was lovely on the day we visited, but we still needed jackets. I can’t imagine how miserable it would be to study here in the winter … too cold and damp!

We really enjoyed this sign. I read it like James Bond says his name: "I study history ... Scottish history."

We did notice that there is an emphasis on all things Scottish. The Department of History is separated into Scottish History and Everything Else. The Department of Literature is separated into Scottish Literature and Everything Else.  We did see the music building, but since I can’t really think of a famous Scottish composer (except for Sophia Dussek!) I suspect that music is combined.

Can anyone identify this tree? Or is it a bush? It looks like a pipe cleaner to me, but I'm not a botanist!

It is nice to see such pride in Scotland. We have an ongoing debate about how to refer to Scotland, since we live here in England. Technically it is both a separate country, but also part of the same country. It’s a tricky situation. Alex tried to explain that it was like the holy trinity … an argument that is entirely lost on me.

Iconography

One aspect of design that has always interested me is the creation of icons. Not in the religious kind of way, but in the info-graphic kind of way.

You’re probably all familiar with this sign. It’s seen throughout the United States, and is usually used for fire or emergency exits.

But in Europe, the emergency exit sign looks like this:

Personally, I think the European version is much better. Green has always indicated safety, in almost all cultures. Red means danger, so why would I want to go towards something red? The little green man is also important, because what happens if you can’t read “Exit”, or don’t understand what it means? The visual impact of seeing a person running through a doorway clearly illustrates what the function is.

Which brings me to the Madrid Metro. I came across these icons while riding the metro, and I found them to be quite interesting. For this first one, I wasn’t sure if maybe the thumbs up sign had a different meaning in Spanish culture than it does in the US. I know that in the UK, it’s more insulting to give a raspberry (a victory sign with the palm facing towards you rather than outwards) than to give the middle finger.  Perhaps this sign is telling me not to give someone a thumbs up?  But then I realized that they were trying to tell me not to hold the doors!  That’s not really clear, is it? The door is not the first thing I see here, because it’s not visually highlighted. The bright white (and that racial assumption is deserving of a separate post!) hand totally grabs my attention. Distinguishing the dark blue on the black background is too subtle. Plus, if you were to hold the doors, I don’t think this is how you would do it…. the angle is all wrong! The doors on the metro have two doors that open in the middle, people more commonly insert a shoulder or a hip to keep it from closing.

This next icon also confused me, because I thought it meant “never leave a child’s hand un-held. Hold both hands of your children at all times” — which would be awkward. I’m still not 100 percent certain, but I now think it means “Don’t let you kid stick fingers in the edge of the door, they’ll get stuck” or maybe it means “Children with strange bird-like wings are not allowed”.  Plus, the red circle is usually only used with a line drawn through it, indicating something should NOT be done. But this is just a circle. Does it mean that whatever this is SHOULD be done?  Do we like children with bird like wings? I’m confused.

This last image was by far my favorite, because I think it means “No salsa dancing as you exit the train!”.  Can’t you just see hordes of passengers, all dancing on and off the metro? This would obviously cause enough of a problem to necessitate a sign about it!  But alas, the sign just means “Don’t get your foot stuck in the gap”.  Too bad.  Doing the samba on the platform is way more fun.

Now, lest you think I’m a curmudgeonly old fuddy-duddy, and all I can do is complain about design, let me reassure you that I appreciate how difficult it is to design something that transcends language and culture. These designs are definitely not the worst I’ve seen, and after thinking about it for a few moments I was clearly able to distinguish their real purpose. But that doesn’t mean I can’t poke a little fun, and use it as a challenge to design something better.

Now I’m off to flap my bird arms, give people the thumbs up, and dance along the Tube!